Because heart disease doesn’t just impact the body—it reshapes identity, priorities, and relationships. Sharing this journey helps others facing life-altering challenges feel seen, inspired, and reminded that even in the darkest moments, clarity, love, and purpose are still possible.
Introduction: A Journey That Changed Everything
Living with heart disease is more than just managing symptoms or adhering to medical routines. It’s about confronting your mortality, navigating uncertainty, and redefining who you are.
For me, it meant losing the life I once knew and being forced to reimagine a new one. It meant letting go of my expectations, facing my fears, and learning to find meaning even amidst pain and chaos.
This journey wasn’t just about surviving—it was about finding purpose, gaining clarity, and learning to live with intention. It was about discovering who I truly am, what matters most, and how to live a life of significance.
These are my reflections—not just as someone living with heart disease but as a husband, a father, a son, an immigrant, and a Black man navigating life in America. These are the insights from my heart to yours.
1. The Fragility of Life – Confronting Mortality and Finding Purpose
Before heart disease, I lived with the illusion of invincibility. I moved through life as if tomorrow was guaranteed, as if time was infinite, and as if my body would always keep up with my ambitions.
But heart disease shattered that illusion. It forced me to confront my mortality, to face the reality that life is fragile, and that every heartbeat is a gift.
I remember lying in that hospital bed, surrounded by machines, wires, and the relentless beeping sounds that reminded me just how close I was to the edge. I felt vulnerable, powerless, and lost.
I kept asking myself, “Why me? Why now?” I wanted an explanation, a reason, a purpose. But no matter how many times I asked, the answer was always the same—life is fragile, and tomorrow is not promised.
But instead of giving in to fear, I chose to find purpose in my pain. I realized that confronting my mortality was not about fearing death but about learning to live fully.
I chose to live with urgency—not the frantic urgency of fear but the purposeful urgency of gratitude. Every day became an opportunity to live fully, to love deeply, and to leave a positive impact.
I learned that purpose is not about achieving greatness or leaving a legacy of success. It’s about living with intention, finding meaning in the smallest moments, and making every heartbeat count.
2. Redefining Success – Letting Go of Expectations and Embracing Clarity
Before heart disease, I measured success by achievements, titles, and goals. I chased after promotions, financial security, and the approval of others. I was driven by ambition, by the need to prove myself, and by the pressure to be “successful.”
But heart disease changed my perspective. It made me realize that none of those things mattered. Success wasn’t about titles or achievements—it was about purpose, clarity, and fulfillment.
I learned to let go of expectations—expectations of who I should be, what I should achieve, and how my life should unfold. I learned to stop chasing after things that didn’t bring me joy or fulfillment.
I remember a moment of clarity when I was watching my children play in the backyard. They were laughing, running, and living fully in the present. They weren’t worried about the future, about success, or about what others thought of them. They were simply being.
I realized that clarity comes not from having all the answers but from letting go of the need to control everything. It comes from embracing uncertainty and trusting that life will unfold as it should.
I stopped worrying about what others expected of me and started living authentically. I focused on what truly mattered—love, joy, and the people who brought light into my life.
I realized that success is not about how much you achieve but about how deeply you live, how fully you love, and how intentionally you show up every day.
3. Finding Meaning in Suffering – Transforming Pain into Purpose
Living with heart disease was painful—physically, emotionally, and mentally. I faced fear, uncertainty, and loss. I lost my health, my independence, and my sense of identity.
But I learned that suffering is not meaningless. It is transformative. It challenges you to find purpose, to inspire others, and to live with courage and authenticity.
I chose to see my pain as a teacher, as a source of growth, and as an opportunity to find purpose. I chose to transform my pain into purpose, to inspire others through my journey, and to live with intention.
I learned that meaning is not found in the absence of pain but in the way we respond to it. It’s about choosing to rise above your circumstances, to find hope in the darkness, and to use your experiences to uplift others.
I realized that pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional. We can’t control what happens to us, but we can control how we respond.
I chose to respond with courage, gratitude, and purpose. I chose to turn my pain into a source of strength, hope, and inspiration.
4. It Is What It Is – Accepting Reality and Gaining Clarity
One of the hardest lessons I had to learn was acceptance. I fought against my diagnosis. I was angry, scared, and in denial. I wanted my old life back—the one where I was strong, invincible, and carefree.
But I realized that no amount of anger, denial, or resistance could change my reality. The longer I fought against it, the more it controlled me.
I learned to accept what is. It is what it is. Acceptance is not about giving up. It’s about facing reality with courage, with clarity, and with the willingness to adapt.
I learned that acceptance is the first step to healing, to clarity, and to finding purpose. It allows you to let go of what you can’t control and to focus on what you can change.
Once I accepted my new reality, I was free to rebuild my life—not the life I had planned but the life I could still live, still enjoy, and still find meaning in.
5. Gotta Keep On Going – Staying Where You’re Loved and Finding Purpose
No matter how hard life gets, you gotta keep on going. You have to keep fighting, keep hoping, and keep living.
I learned the importance of going where you are loved and staying where you are valued. I surrounded myself with people who lifted me up, who reminded me of my worth, and who gave me strength.
I found my people—the ones who saw me for who I truly was, who supported me, and who loved me unconditionally.
I also learned to let go—of anger, of resentment, of fear, and of the need for control. I learned that peace comes not from controlling everything but from accepting uncertainty and trusting that things will work out.
I realized that life is too short to focus on negativity, on regrets, or on things that don’t bring you joy. I chose to stay positive, to keep loving, and to live fully.
Because no matter how hard life gets, you gotta keep on going.
Conclusion: Embracing Life with Purpose, Meaning, and Clarity
Living with heart disease didn’t just change my body—it changed my life, my perspective, and my purpose. It taught me to accept my reality, to find meaning in my pain, and to live with purpose and clarity.
I learned that life is fragile but beautiful, unpredictable but precious. I learned to live with gratitude, to love without reservation, and to find joy in the simplest moments.
I realized that the journey is not about surviving. It’s about living fully, loving deeply, and leaving a legacy of courage, gratitude, and hope.
These are the lessons that heart disease taught me—not just about illness but about life itself.
– Somaneh Bouba
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